Infidelity Therapy

Has Your Marriage Been Threatened By An Affair?

Have you recently learned that your spouse has had an affair, and you’re feeling hurt, betrayed and devastated?

Or are you filled with guilt and fear that your marriage may be over because you had an affair?

Do you wonder whether your marriage can be saved and question where you can go for help?

Before the affair, you believed that your marriage was in a good place, or at least, not as bad as the way you see it now. But ever since the truth came out, your beliefs about yourself, your marriage, and your life have been shattered.

The Aftermath Of An Affair Can Feel Like An Emotional Roller Coaster

After the affair, the foundation of what your relationship was built on seems forever fractured. This betrayal is traumatic and has completely changed everything you once believed about yourself, your marriage and your world.

There are so many questions about the betrayal and you never seem to get a clear answer on what happened, or why. Anytime you try to talk about your feelings, you are quickly dismissed, left feeling raw, vulnerable, and frustrated for trying. And just when you see a hint of progress in talking, something happens, and one of you quickly leaves the conversation without any progress or resolution.

You are walking on a path you never thought you would ever experience in your relationship. And now you’re questioning where this path will lead.

Conversations to Heal From Infidelity Seem Impossible To Do On Your Own

You may have tried talking with your spouse to sort out your feelings or to see how your marriage can be repaired. But you can’t seem to get through the questions that are swirling in your head. Or maybe you and your spouse are afraid to discuss the betrayal because every attempt leads to more arguments, increasing the distance between both of you.

Since the affair, the trust, respect, security and love you had in your marriage has been damaged for both of you. Emotions are quickly activated, leading conversations that end in anger, frustration, resentment and tears. You both are probably wondering how you can have effective conversations that lead to healing your relationship.

Are You Wondering About Infidelity Therapy?

The impact of an emotional or physical affair can be devastating. You may wonder if you can save your marriage after infidelity, or you question if it’s even worth it. You might not know what you want right now, but you do know help is needed if this marriage has any chance to work.

The more time that passes without productive conversations, the more complicated things can become. It will never seem like the right time for infidelity therapy because of the pain attached to the affair. And your relationship will face even more challenges by not addressing the root cause of the affair and how to affair proof your marriage.

Infidelity counseling can help you sort out your emotions and help you both have meaningful conversations to close the gap that is preventing you both from making any progress in your relationship. Counseling for infidelity can also help you both determine if you can move forward together.

Through Therapy, You Can Save Your Marriage After Infidelity

Even after infidelity, there is still hope that you both can have a better and stronger marriage, if you both are willing to look at your relationship with openness and honesty.

The support from an infidelity counselor can help guide you through a structured process to release difficult emotions, recognize what happened and explore conversations that can repair your relationship. Working with a counselor who is trained to provide marriage counseling after infidelity, will help you determine if your marriage can move forward. If you are willing to try, then it may be possible to save your marriage.

Benefits of Infidelity Therapy For Individuals And Couples

Counseling can help you heal from the affair and move forward in your life – with or without your partner. Whether you decide to attend counseling alone or with your partner depends on what you want.

Benefits for Individuals:

● Heal the pain, confusion or guilt

● Gain the emotional support needed as you navigate difficult thoughts/feelings/experiences

● Create healthy boundaries to protect your well-being and empower you to prioritize your needs

● Improve your self-esteem and self-worth

● Decide if you want to stay with your partner

Benefits for Couples:

● Increases a couple’s chance of working through infidelity

● Restore trust in the relationship

● Repair commitment in the relationship

● Learn effective coping and communication strategies that will help navigate difficult conversations

● Build a stronger relationship where you feel love, seen and heard

● Affair-proof your marriage for the future

My Approach to Infidelity Counseling

I am trained in the Gottman Affair Recovery Method to help couples recover from infidelity and improve communication, connection and intimacy in therapy. The work we do will focus on 3 phases: Atone, Attune and Attach.

● The Atone phase - focuses on honesty, transparency, empathy and validation. This is the first step towards healing.

● The Attune phase - focuses on rebuilding emotional intimacy and communication, with active listening, understanding each other’s feelings and needs, with empathy.

● The Attach phase - focuses on creating deeper emotional and physical bonds, rebuilding trust and commitment, fostering a sense of partnership and creating connection.

We will also be using the Gottman Method “to disarm conflicting verbal communication; remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy; create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship; and increase intimacy, respect, and affection.”

This may sound overwhelming at first, but I have a great way of connecting with those I work with by providing a non-judgmental and safe environment, while providing the necessary support to address uncomfortable topics.

Many couples I have worked with through infidelity counseling have shared that I bring a compassionate and fresh perspective to couple’s sessions. Others have told me that I am easy to talk with while working through tough topics, and that they look forward to learning and understanding themselves and their partner in counseling, with the end goal of healing their marriage after an affair.

Still Have Questions About Couples Therapy After Infidelity?

What if my spouse isn’t interested in infidelity therapy?

Your spouse may need some time to warm up to the idea of therapy for infidelity. I will be able to meet you where you are, and I can work with you individually until your

spouse is ready. Either way, you will be working directly on yourself and indirectly on your marriage.

As you make changes in the way you see yourself, your self-esteem, and in the way you respond and communicate, you may also see changes in your spouse.

If your spouse still does not want to attend counseling after some time, I will encourage you to come to therapy for yourself to get the support you need as you work through difficult thoughts, feelings and ideas. I will be there for you, without judgement, no matter what you decide is best for you moving forward.

Still Don’t Know if Marriage Counseling Can Help After An Affair?

How long do you want to hold onto the pain from infidelity and keep suffering in silence? Isn’t it getting harder to continue to show up at work, family occasions or get together with friends, putting on a front that you and your marriage are perfectly fine?

No matter where you are in your thoughts and emotions, you and your spouse have built a life together. No one enters a marriage prepared with the skills on how to handle an affair. So why try to figure this out one on your own?

Wouldn’t you feel better working with a professional who has experience working with many couples who also sought out help through infidelity therapy?

As a counselor who specializes in infidelity and marriage, I can help you get the conversations started that will help you learn what needs to be worked on to have your marriage move forward towards healing. I have successfully worked with many couples who have experienced infidelity. It is possible to get through this. You just need someone who knows how to navigate through your pain.

I Don’t Know If I Want To Be In This Marriage Anymore

Even if you believe your marriage is over, to walk away from a marriage with a clear conscience that you tried everything to save your relationship will be most helpful in healing.

Maybe you feel that a second chance is not warranted. You may be right. But you will never know unless you give it one last chance. You deserve to know what could have been if you both received guidance from an infidelity therapist, as a last effort to determine if there is hope to heal your marital wounds.

As a therapist who has worked with many couples through affair recovery, you will be given the opportunity to see if there is still hope that your marriage can heal.

Let’s Get Your Marriage Moving In A Better Direction?

If you are ready to find out how marriage therapy for infidelity can help you, I offer a free, 15-minute phone consultation to see if we are a good fit. I invite you to contact me at (631) 406-3139.