Couples Therapy

Want to Have A More Satisfying Relationship

• Feeling like communication issues and decreased intimacy are threatening your relationship?

• Are you having recurring arguments that leave you feeling criticized, defensive and disconnected from your partner?

• Are you yearning for your relationship to be in a better place?

• And maybe you’re considering the need for couples therapy to get your relationship headed in a better direction.

Perhaps you’re discouraged because you’ve attempted to work on your relationship problems, but still have not resolved the core issues. All of your efforts have led to unproductive conversations that leave you feeling unseen, unheard and unloved. You find yourself avoiding topics that may lead to more arguments and resentment.

You realize that the ease of communication, connection, and intimacy you once had as a couple, is now harder to successfully engage in, and is often met with frustration. This is only leading you to feel even more distant from your partner.

Maybe by now you believe you’ve tried too many times to make this work on your own. You’re exhausted and disappointed that things haven’t improved. You may even feel so defeated that you’re having thoughts of leaving your partner to stop the pain, isolation and resentment. And seeking couples counseling seems like a last chance attempt to repair what is broken.

Every Relationship Comes To A Fork In The Road

Even relationships that seemed effortless may come to a point where a couple needs to decide if they can move forward together or go their separate ways. Sometimes it feels like there is no clear path to finding the passion and love that brought you both together.

People are hard-wired for social connection, and a romantic partnership can be one of the most rewarding connections in life. When a relationship is healthy, nurturing, and well-balanced, it can be a source of comfort, security, joy, and support. However, when a couple faces difficulty, the foundation of what makes a relationship strong erodes, and only pain exists where love, joy and safety once were.

Couples, Relationship Ruts, and Therapy

Relationship ruts can be caused by many factors such as: poor communication, life circumstances, a loss, or life transitions.

As life demands change, the relationship skills that once served you well, may not be working anymore.

And this requires both partners to work together in developing new conflict management and communication skills.

This is not something most couples can do alone.

You might be wondering how to move forward and get out of this relationship rut. For both of you there is so much to lose. Yet, it’s overwhelming because there is so much to work on improving. And maybe you’re curious if couples therapy could help you turn your relationship around and start enjoying each other again.

You may be curious how changing the words in a conversation can bring closeness and connection, ultimately decreasing misunderstanding and arguments. Or how to change a conversation to prevent strong emotional responses to stop the distancing between you and your partner. This requires a counselor who can teach you how to make small changes with positive outcomes as a couple.

Do you want to learn how to better communicate with your spouse through research-driven skills and techniques? Are you ready to work with someone who is passionate about counseling couples - someone who can show you how to restore the romance and connection you used to have?

Couples counseling can help you reconnect to yourself and each other, while building a stronger marriage or relationship based on trust and commitment.

Couples Therapy Can Help You Learn How To Be A Better Partner

Most couples begin counseling by identifying obvious problems like increased arguments, lack of communication, loss of intimacy, or re-occurring arguments without resolution. These are the symptoms of a relationship that is struggling. The real problem is related to emotional connection, effective communication, and the ability to manage conflict.

My role in couples therapy is to be supportive to both of you, without taking sides. As a couples counselor, I can help you and your partner practice valuable skills for:

• disarming conflicting verbal communication

• increasing intimacy, respect, and affection

• removing barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy

• fostering a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within your relationship

In counseling, you will learn the variables that build a solid relationship, as well as what causes a breakdown in your conversations. We will work together to evaluate the key principles of making relationships work and how to implement necessary changes that create emotionally satisfying relationships.

What To Expect In Couples Counseling Sessions

As a therapist, I make it a priority to have both individuals feel safe, seen, heard, and respected

in sessions., because I know how important this is for couples. Together we will work through

new and reoccurring challenges by having you practice new skills and materials that I will

provide. This will allow you to learn more effective ways to build a relationship that is

emotionally satisfying and one that can better handle life’s challenges.

How Is My Counseling Different Than Other Therapists?

As a couples counselor trained in the Gottman method, I feel confident that marriage therapy helps couples improve their relationship. Gottman trained therapists are highly sought-after as the leaders in couples counseling, as this method is the only research-based method designed specifically for couples. This method has also been able to predict relationship continuity with over 90% accuracy.

The Gottman Method’s research driven skills and materials are easy to learn and use, in and outside of marriage counseling. This provides couples the ability to acknowledge their progress, as well as work through areas that need more attention in counseling. This decreases the amount of time needed for therapy and increases the couple’s confidence that they can begin to tackle more on their own.

I am often told by many couples that they feel comfortable discussing their personal struggles with me, knowing that they will be supported throughout their work with me. Couples are surprised at how quickly they start seeing positive changes in their relationship. Though I take marriage counseling seriously, I have a good sense of humor and easily connect well with my clients.

Other Therapies I Mix Into Couples Therapy

Some other approaches I use in couples therapy, may include:

• Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) – can guide you in rebuilding your emotional and physical bonds as a couple, closing the distance between you and bringing you closer together.

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – can help you and your partner let go of negative misconceptions about yourselves and your relationship, empowering you to move forward with a fresh perspective as a couple.

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – can enable couples to accept each other’s emotional experiences. You can commit to taking actions to improve your relationship based on your shared values.

• Healthy boundaries – allow you to honor your own personal needs while respecting your partner’s needs. As a couple, you can work together to set reasonable boundaries within your relationship.

• Mindfulness – can allow you to calm down when you’re feeling overwhelmed so you can engage in conversations together without getting heated. Mindfulness practices for couples can include grounding and other stress-reduction techniques.

My passion for couples therapy leads me to seek out the most current and effective trainings, and I practice these same skills in my own marriage of 25+ years. There will always be things you will disagree about, but how you both address these conflicts will determine your relationship satisfaction.

Still Have Questions About Couples Therapy?

Will couples counseling work for us?

There are no guarantees that couples therapy will fix everything in your relationship. By working with a couples counselor, you will learn how to have difficult conversations, come to resolveconflicts feeling good about your relationship, and leave with tools that work for both of you. Couples who manage their conflicts effectively are better able to have long lasting, and satisfying relationships. It’s not about never having conflict, because there will always be something you both will disagree about.

Relationship satisfaction is determined by how you both manage conflict while seeing your partner in a positive perspective, even when you both disagree. And I can help you learn how to do this.

How long do most couples go to therapy?

Most couples I see begin counseling with a few weekly sessions and then, typically, attend sessions on a bi-weekly basis. This allows individuals time to process information from counseling and practice new skills they learned during session(s). Every couple has their own challenges to work through, which dictates how long they attend therapy. But you might be surprised at how quickly you both can begin to feel better about your relationship. I’ll equip you with a skill set designed to meet your personal needs so you both can feel confident when you end counseling.

What if we still don’t see progress after spending time in couples therapy?

Ignoring relationship challenges will not lead to change, but after some time in counseling, you will at least understand the core of your relationship conflicts. I am confident that you will both gain a better understanding of yourself and your partner, learn better communication skills, foster positive feelings for each other, and build emotional connection. I help couples avoid words, labels and phrases that lead a person to feel criticized and defensive, fostering a stronger emotional connection to support lasting progress.

Couples Therapy Can Help You And Your Partner Embrace A New Chapter

Take the next step to improve your relationship & contact me at (631) 406-3139. I offer a free, 15-minute phone consultation to answer any of your questions and to see if we are a good fit.