Divorce Counseling

Are You Struggling With Your Emotions From Separation Or Divorce?

Maybe you have been thinking about leaving your spouse or have already started divorce proceedings. Or perhaps you’re already legally divorced, and find yourself navigating unexpected emotions such as sadness, anger, or fear, and the uncertainties of life post-divorce.

On top of grieving your relationship and the future you used to picture as a couple or family, you may be feeling guilty for making the decision to leave, or disgust for putting up with your partner’s behaviors for so long. On the other hand, you may be feeling remorseful over why you couldn’t just “make things work.”

The Emotional Challenges And Transitions Of Separation

After spending so many years as a couple, life on your own can feel unsettling, and even overwhelming. It’s difficult managing these changes and adjusting to your new lifestyle.

And you might find yourself unable to have support from family and friends, either because you don’t want to discuss personal details with them, or maybe there’s been a shift in your support system since you’ve separated. All of this may be leading you to experience feelings of aloneness or isolation from others, when you really need the emotional support most.

Additionally, creating a whole new life on your own can feel like a heavy burden. And managing all of life’s responsibilities such as finances, cost of living, and parenting without a partner, is a massive adjustment, and you’re wondering how are you going to manage everything on your own.

Have you ever thought about talking to a counselor about your separation or divorce?

A therapist can provide a safe space where you can express your feelings without judgment and guide you in creating a roadmap for your life after divorce. Through counseling, you can gain coping skills to help you stay grounded during this chapter, which can lead to more creativity for navigating new challenges in life. Counseling can also give you the support you need going through a divorce to feel more confident as you take on new responsibilities and needed steps towards independence post-divorce.

Ending A Marriage Is A Difficult, Tumultuous Process

Even if a person knows that separating from their spouse is the right choice, going through a divorce is never easy.

In addition to ending a deeply personal relationship that once was filled with so many hopes and dreams, separation and divorce means navigating a long list of complex legal and logistical matters. This may include such things as moving to another home, adjusting your budget to cover your expenses as a sole provider, determining custody agreements for your children, and more.

Separation And Divorce Can Cause Feelings Of Social Isolation

As you try to process the history and memories once shared together, you’re also trying to adapt to shifting family dynamics. This life transition brings countless unexpected challenges, and you might feel like you need more support than ever before. Instead, you end up facing this complicated experience on your own, with limited support or helpful conversations with friends or relatives.

You may even have noticed that some of your friendships and family relationships have changed drastically since your divorce.

When you’re going through such an emotionally challenging life change, being objective is tricky. An experienced and compassionate divorce counselor can offer you guidance on dealing with legal proceedings, strengthening your coping skills, and creating a more optimistic vision for your future.

Reclaim Your Voice And Confidence Through Divorce Counseling

You might feel like so many aspects of your separation and divorce process have been out of your control. As a result, life seems so uncertain, especially on how things will turn out in the end, post-divorce. This may have shaken your confidence in being able to accomplish what lies ahead. Or you may feel as though you don’t know how to advocate for yourself when it relates to your rights, wants and needs moving forward.

You probably have a whole mix of experiences. Some may be expected and some may have taken you off guard. Either way, your balance in life has completely shifted, and you’re realizing now that you need someone who understands your personal journey through separation and divorce.

What I can offer you is guidance, support, and empowerment. In counseling, we will work together to build self-compassion, self-esteem, confidence, and other important aspects to get you feeling stronger and prepared to face life’s challenges, so you can create a life that feels right for you.

What To Expect From Divorce And Separation Counseling

During therapy sessions, you’ll be able to open up about everything you need to tackle as part of the separation and divorce process—from legal demands to emotional troubles.

Together, we’ll identify areas where you can start taking back ownership of your life and evaluate your coping techniques to see how you can better manage stress with solution-focused skills. Additionally, we’ll discuss how you can rebuild your support system and connect with people who truly empathize with your struggles.

Separation and divorce can cause you to question your identity and role in life. We’ll delve into your inner dialogue so you can let go of limiting beliefs about who you are and what you’re capable of, releasing the need for self-criticism.

We’ll also discuss issues like co-parenting, adjusting your budget, and communicating with your lawyer. And we can map out flexible solutions and adapt different strategies to your changing needs.

Therapeutic Approaches For Divorce Therapy

My goal is to build up your empowerment so that you can move past relationship disappointments or conflicts within the divorce process and stand on your own two feet.

You will learn to deepen your self-love and compassion and acknowledge that, although you may be unsatisfied with your current circumstances, you can still live a great life moving forward. You have the ability to build a life that is satisfying, exciting and one that meets your needs.

In session, I draw from several beneficial therapeutic modalities, including:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – can help you challenge the story you’ve been telling yourself about your self-worth, your divorce, and your future. Through CBT, you can develop kinder inner dialogue and open your mind to brighter possibilities.

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – can aid you in accepting your current circumstances rather than asking yourself what you could have done differently, which will empower you to shift your focus towards making lifestyle changes that are within your control.

• Mindfulness practices – such as grounding techniques, sensory integration, meditation, and breathwork allow you to process and release your stress, restoring a feeling of calmness in your daily life.

• Solution-focused Therapy – can be a valuable, skills-based approach while navigating the emotional and practical aspects of divorce. We’ll focus on identifying your strengths, setting achievable goals and finding practical solutions, so you can move forward positively, rather than dwelling on the past or problems.

• Narrative Therapy – is a great approach to reframe your life’s story and find new meaning in your life after divorce.

Coping with the feelings that accompany separation and divorce can be exhausting, but counseling can help you move forward as an individual. If you’re feeling stuck, remember that this is not the end of your story, but an opportunity to chart a new course that allows for courage, creativity, and hope.

Wherever this road leads, I’ll be there encouraging you along the way.

Still Have Some Questions About Divorce Counseling?

Can counseling really change the way I feel?

Your journey is unique to you, and although I can’t guarantee how you might feel after counseling, my clients have shared that therapy has helped them feel settled, confident, and more in touch with their true selves. You can engage in self-discovery and learn to set healthy boundaries. Changing the story you believe about your current circumstances can shift your outlook on the future, and with support navigating these challenges, you can feel motivated to start over.

Should I wait until I’m officially separated or divorced from my partner before I begin counseling?

Throughout the separation and divorce process, you may end up pushing your own well-being to the backburner. This is a very difficult transition, filled with grief, sadness, anger, and confusion, and you deserve to prioritize your own needs. You do not need to wait to seek counseling. Attending pre-divorce counseling can make this transition more manageable.

How long will I need counseling for a separation or divorce?

The amount of time you spend in counseling will depend on where you are in the divorce process, the effectiveness of your coping skills, your support systems, core beliefs, and other personal factors. Many people benefit from bi-weekly sessions and enjoy sharing their experiences freely while working towards personal change. Ultimately, you will decide when you have achieved your goals and no longer need therapy.

Let Me Help You Feel Empowered During A Difficult Time

If you’re interested in talking to a divorce counselor, I encourage you to reach out to my practice for a 15-minute phone consultation. You can call my office at (631) 406-3139 to learn more about separation and divorce counseling.