"If You’re Feeling Everyday Stress or Anxiety It May Really Be Trauma”

When we hear the word trauma, our minds often go to the big stuff like serious accidents, abuse, and natural disasters. These are traumatic experiences. But not all traumatic life experiences carry an obvious trauma label on it. And sometimes trauma is quietly impacting our mood, behavior, and relationships in ways we don’t even realize.

 In my therapy practice, I often see clients who aren’t coming in because of a big, traumatic life event. Instead, they’re feeling stuck, anxious, or disconnected—and it’s only through gentle exploration that we uncover old wounds that never really healed.

 Trauma, especially the emotional kind, can linger below the surface for years, shaping how we see ourselves and it affects the way we relate to our world and those in it.

 So how do you know if you’re dealing with unresolved trauma? Here are four subtle signs that might surprise you:

1. Your Reactions Feel Bigger Than the Situation Calls For

Have you ever had a moment where you overreacted and immediately thought, “Where did that come from?” Maybe you found yourself snapping at your partner, crying over a minor criticism, or feeling angry because you’re stuck in a traffic. These can be signs of emotional trauma coming up to the surface.

 When we don’t process past pain, our pain doesn’t just disappear. It stays in the back of our minds and in our body. You may notice that you get more emotionally activated as you continue to not process your trauma pain.

 You’re not “too sensitive” or “overdramatic.” But you might just be carrying something your body or mind that hasn’t yet had the chance to heal.

 2. You’re Constantly Overwhelmed, Even by the Little Things

Everyone feels overwhelmed sometimes. But if you’re finding that the smallest changes in your schedule, life experience, or plans you made, are getting you more upset than you think you should be, there could be something deeper going on.

 Unresolved trauma keeps our nervous system on high alert. You might notice that even simple decisions like “What should I cook for dinner? Should I return that text? Do I really need to take out the garbage?” can feel exhausting. That sense of being constantly behind or out of control may be your mind trying to protect yourself by holding onto stress as a way to stay hypervigilant and “safe.”

3. You Zone Out More Than You’d Like to Admit

We all daydream. But if you’re frequently disconnecting during interactions, getting lost in thought while watching a movie, keep searching through social media, or not being able to stay present in a conversation, this might be a sign of trauma.

 Trauma can lead us to disassociate, especially when we perceive a situation as too stressful, unfamiliar, uncomfortable or too overwhelming.

If you find yourself struggling to stay grounded or feeling like you’re watching life from a distance, your mind might be protecting yourself from emotions you haven’t been ready to face.

4. Shame Has Moved In Like an Unwelcome Houseguest

Trauma has a sneaky way of convincing us that we’re the problem. Relationships that don’t work out, not getting a job you really wanted, or not achieving what you think you should have attained by now. This can lead some to feel less then, unlovable, a failure or a fraud.

 All of these negative self-identity statements are not who you really are, but they are shame-based statements. Shame is one of the most powerful and paralyzing emotions we pick up from unresolved trauma.

 Shame thrives in silence. The more we keep these emotions to ourselves, the more power it has over our thoughts, choices, and self-worth. Recognizing shame is the first step to begin changing how you see your true-self, and opens up new ways you can interact with yourself and others.

You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone

Recognizing these signs doesn’t mean something is “wrong” with you. It means you’re human. Life is sometimes messy and painful. Even though most people do not want to open up painful memories, healing is only possible when we take a bold step to look at what happened to us with a self-compassionate gentle mindset.

 Healing does not have to be overwhelming. Working with a trauma informed therapist who is experienced in Trauma Counseling can help you gently unpack what has been pushed down for a long time. If anything here resonated with you, I invite you to reach out.

 Let’s talk about what you’ve been carrying and how you can feel more comfortable being you. I offer a free 15 minute phone consultation to help you get started in a new direction.